Sometimes it is really embarrassing to be an American.

I wholeheartedly support the Veteran’s who have lost their lives to give me the freedom to make that statement. I love my country and I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else (except maybe Australia). When I return from my tours around the world, I am always grateful to be back on my own turf in sunny Southern California. I am proud to live in a country where movie stars and wrestlers can be Governor and trailer trash can be President. (I’m talking about the former President, not the current one!)

So, what makes me cringe in red faced humiliation about my citizenship?? It is the American attitude about nudity. Although I am not a huge football fan and I have never fantasized about seeing Janet Jackson’s breasts, I can’t believe the huge issue the media, CBS television, the FCC and our government are making about seeing one surprise, saggy breast on television! In France, Holland, Germany, Italy, Spain and Australia you can see breasts in all shapes and sizes all over the beaches. Young and old, male and female, grow up seeing knockers, hooters, floppers and handfuls swinging in the sun from every race and age group every day of their lives. Basic television in European countries including Norway, Sweden and Denmark provide breast’s galore in the soft porn presented free of charge to their viewing audiences. Animated cartoons, depicting dancing, smiling condoms doing a jig, appear on Swiss and French television during prime time. European men actually hug and kiss each other without anyone feeling that their sexuality has been threatened. Sex toys and Prostitutes stand in open view in the windows of the red light district in Amsterdam. And although Rape is a violent crime not necessarily a sexual one, Rape and sexual assault statistics are much lower in Holland, where prostitution is tolerated and available.

Last night when I turned on the television and innocently channel surfed, I saw a violent rape scene, a real live armed robbery with copius blood and guts spewing from a victim laying motionless behind the counter, a war documentary on the History channel showing dead bodies in the hundreds, and a docudrama where a person was having surgery in front of camera crews. I didn’t want to see Janet Jackson’s breast but I would rather see that, than someone’s flesh being sliced open by a scalpel as their spleen is removed.

I just don’t understand why breasts are offensive. When John Ashcroft cover’s up the breasts on a statue during a press conference, it is not only a pathetic insult to art but it is also embarrassing. When CBS announces they may ban Janet Jackson from the Grammys’ it’s embarrassing. I don’t know about you, but I think boobs’ are a good thing. They are beautiful, soft and life giving. They look great naked, under a tight fitting sweater or wet t-shirt. They are fun to watch when they flop around while jogging. Babies love them. They are a soft place to lay your head. Breast cancer is a fear that many women live with, not just because of the pain and death associated with it but because we love our breasts and they are a crucial part of our feminine bodies. Men’s breasts are even fun. Some are very sensitive. And many of them look great after a few months of weightlifting curls. Some of us can even play the piano with our breasts!

When young Americians’ are dying in Iraq, suicide bombers are blowing themselves up in subways and bus stops, Mad Cow disease and the bird flu threaten our lives, children are being abducted and murdered, what is the big problem with a surprise boob falling out here or there? To me, it was a welcome diversion from an otherwise boring half time show. I think Janet Jacksons’ breast should be the beginning of a trend where boobs are shown regularly on prime time television. American Idol would be a lot more interesting if we could see some breast once in awhile. And although I am not a Martha Stewart fan, I might even tune in if she were preparing a souffle’ topless! What do Nancy O’Dells’ breasts look like? I’d like to know!

Europeans think we Americans are gun toting, war hungry puritans. It’s about time that we start cleaning up our reputation. Let’s get rid of the violence on television and start showing more breasts. It could help the world opinion of America. It would make me less embarrassed to be an American. At the very least, it could make a boring Monday night in front of the boob tube a whole lot more titillating.

back to the articles and writings page